Autism meltdowns: Modifying triggers and reducing anxiety
For caregivers of people diagnosed with Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD), or those on the spectrum themselves, who are looking for tips on managing triggers and reducing anxiety.
Crisis management
What not to do
The limbic system controls our emotions and our fight-or-flight response. An overactive limbic system hijacks the rest of the brain and causes feelings of upset, rage, and overwhelm. When a person with ASD is in a highly negative mental state, do not threaten further. Avoid using time-outs or taking away valuables because punishment could further escalate the situation.
What to do
When communicating with someone in a crisis, it is best to listen, agree, or apologize. Empathize with the person by asking “What do you want?” When logic is not present, use distraction as a tool for calming. Distraction can be in the form of multisensory activities, novel items, and the person’s special interests.
Prevention plans
An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure. Explore the person’s triggers and note them down. Triggers can include hunger, illness, sensory stimulation, new environments, criticism, need for attention, and more. Once the triggers are recognized, work on modifying them and increasing the person’s ability to cope with them.
This article will explore six common triggers:
Learning a new skill
Facing fears
Handling disappointment
Making mistakes
Unmet needs for attention
Learning a new skill
When learning or teaching a new skill, make the experience fun and multisensory. People with ASD are often sensitive to sensory cues, so visual or tactile stimulation can be useful supplements for learning.
People become avoidant of learning something new when they lack confidence. Hence, follow the 80-20 rule. Highlight strengths and existing skills 80% of the time. Teach something new, or challenge, the other 20% of the time. This keeps the learning experience feeling positive.
Build a growth mindset rather than a fixed mindset. Encourage the learner to always try. When the task is too difficult, show the person that they can request a break or ask for help. Reward the person for trying, not for being correct.
Facing fears
Some fears can be avoided, but there are times when a fear needs to be faced (Example: fear of taking an exam).
Disclaimer: Fear is different from trauma. Trauma is not something to be “faced”. Trauma can be worked on with a professional.
Before facing a fear, emphasize the person’s many strengths in relation to their fewer challenges. A strengths-based approach will build confidence and hope.
Gradually challenge the fear by breaking down the fear into a five-point scale— from the least feared to the most feared. Face the fear one step at a time. Allow the person to determine their own readiness in taking each step.
Physical activities, such as exercise or meditation, can help reduce the anxiety along the way.
Handling disappointment
Disappointment can come from not wanting to wait or accept “no” as an answer.
Demonstrate to the disappointed person that waiting does not equate to never. When teaching children about the benefits of waiting, try using visual timers and offering rewards. For others, create a schedule or to-do-list. Establish a timeline for when the person will eventually get what they want.
Accepting a “no” is harder than learning to wait, but it is a skill that can be developed. Remind the disappointed person that even if they could not get what they wanted this time, there is something else they can look forward to.
Making mistakes
People with ASD can become easily discouraged by a single mistake. When in a situation where mistakes might occur, follow the 80-20 rule by stacking the deck with activities that the person does well.
Demonstrate to the person that mistakes can help them learn. Rewards for handling mistakes should be greater than rewards for getting it right in the first place.
Especially with children, mistakes can lead to becoming the target of teasing. Equip the child with skills for handling teasing, such as being able to stay calm and say “no”. Additionally, help the child protect themselves from teasing. Establish their support network by developing their social skills and providing opportunities for building friendships.
Unmet needs for attention
A person with ASD might seek attention using inappropriate language or behavior due to missing contextual cues. For example, the person might inappropriately make a sexual joke at work because one of their friends laughed at that joke outside of work. Or that person might offend someone because they used insult as a form of comedy without the listener’s consent (e.g. tease peers, self-deprecation). In such cases, demonstrate that there are alternative, positive ways to seek attention. It might also help to explain the rules of comedy.
Children in particular are prone to meltdowns in response to unmet needs for attention. As a caretaker, the best preventative measure is to schedule time to give them attention.
When there is an unmet need, explore appropriate outlets like theater, music, and presentation.
Unexpected triggers
Keep in mind that each person has unique triggers and reactions. It’s best to avoid generalizing or assuming. Establish an open line of communication and be willing to continually respond to the needs of the person you are trying to support.
Although it is not possible to predict every trigger, methods for preparing against unexpected triggers include:
Collaborating on methods for distracting and soothing
Establishing a safe person or safe space
Teaching positive self-talk
Utilizing drawing or writing as an outlet for expression
My name is Anabel Helen and I’m a Toronto Asian therapist with expertise in ADHD, autism, BPD, and anxiety. Book a free consultation if you’re interested in starting therapy with me. Together, we can identify your triggers and develop the skills to manage them.